Broken, deeply scarred, motherless, fatherless, guarded, strong willed, over thinker, flawed, a beautiful hot mess.
Bold, courageous, sensitive, strong, a survivor, genuine, love hard, loyal, dedicated, a pleasure seeker, free spirited, overachiever, focused, positive, ambitious and intelligent.
Despite it all, I make no excuses or play the blame game. My flaws and shortcoming have been embraced. I have kept afloat and reinvented myself in ways many can’t fathom. I am a ‘Polished Diamond’ indeed.
The post effects of releasing my innermost pain, demons and secrets in an effort to heal, was worth every word written in “A Diamond in the Rough.” Most would be ashamed or embarrassed putting their business out on front street. I found I was doing myself a disservice by keeping it in and ruining my insides. Releasing was truly liberating and helped to break generational cycles and mental barriers, which has allowed for emotional growth. We are often living in the past, afraid to explore and take risk because of fear. There is nothing more freeing, than living in present moments and looking forward to future enjoyment, without being held hostage by my past.
My diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety, is felt by most people at some point in life. Keeping up with worldly news and living through the events of 2020, is certainly enough to bring on these serious and uncomfortable feelings. My fight to rid myself of those labels and feel better, brought about “A Diamond in the Rough. By any means necessary. You never know the challenges many are dealing with and causes some to fall victim to suicide. Unfortunately, it is usually the people that are least expected.
I’ve learned, no matter your circumstance and the cards dealt, life continues to move forward and it is expected of us to keep moving as well.
My healing is ongoing. Somehow, I don’t think you ever heal, just learn to cope and manage through the pain. For what it’s worth, I am the vessel the sacrificial lamb to have had my experiences to be of help to you.
Visit my blog ‘Let’s Talk,’ for tips and tools to help get you through.
Photo taken by Jonathan Ellerbee